I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
