Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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