just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
