those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
