And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
