she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
