We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
