I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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