This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
