Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize
