ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
