i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
