Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
