Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize