Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
