Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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