What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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