You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
