The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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