shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
is it fun? or sober?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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