I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Never joke about your clitoris.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
