I feel like abortions should bother me more
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
