I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
