sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
