One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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