I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i think i have two assholes
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
