that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
