i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
