the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
