I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
