No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
is that a dick in a sweater?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize