Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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