He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
