her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize