From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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