I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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