She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
