Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Randomize
