i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
