Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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