party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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