Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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