I am puke
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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