I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
try to milk me bitch
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