Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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