OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
