if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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