It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
