I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
