I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
