yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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