Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
