I think my vagina is haunted
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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