saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
