Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
