Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Randomize
