carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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